Goodbye My Love <3

Due to recent events I probably won't be able to fully furfill my duty as an admin for I don't know how long, I've had a mental and emotinal breakdown after I came home on Monday to the death of the one I loved. I'm not posting this so I can get your sympathy just to inform, I have already revived a lot of support from people and I thank them for that. Also don't be a dick and post some bullshit, this is serious, someone I loved is dead.

For those who want the whole story here it goes:
So through all my time on Bobs I have met many people, made friends, one of them was Lazy Lama. Now I know what some of you are already going to say "But lazy lama was a dude" yes, was, it was her cousin's account she used it as he had to get more into his studies. Her real name was Jessie. Me and her played a lot together we loved each other, even though she was all the way in Canada and I was and still am in Switzerland, we had made plans for the summer would come over to me and we'd be together. On Monday I said goodnight to her as per usual, later after I came home from school I revived a steam message from her, but it wasn't her it was her cousin telling me to stay clam and that there was something about Jessie, he told me she was found on her kitchen floor, she had a heartattack something to do with her medication she was taking at the time, as she had been in a car crash around a year ago and her leg had gotten atuck she was taking painkillers, Jebus suggested that it could be that her medication caused her to have irregular heart beats leading to her having a heart attack, I wish he was right. This morning I talked a bit more to her cousin and the autopsie revealed that she had taken more painkillers than she needed, as of now I'm finding out more and more about things she never told me from her cousin some of those things, I think, probably shouldn't be shared. I loved her very much, and wish I could've stopped this, could've changed her mind, I've never had any experience with a lovedone or close friend commiting sucide. I wasn't expecting this, as soon as I read those words that she was no longer of us, I could feel my heart sink down.

Jesus man. I'm knee deep in your situation right now because the girl I met online in Maine is completely depressed. And she's only got me to keep her happy. And that makes me feel that if I were to leave or something that she would do the same.

Can't help but to feel sorry.

I'm deeply sorry for your lost, and it's alright if your not able to operate as an administrator, right now the server isn't important, just feel better soon man, were all here for you since were your friends, hell were all family dude.

I don't know what to say but, i'll miss you bro.

Man, I feel your pain... I don't know what to say in all honestly, but I'm dearly sorry for your lost and hey we need to play some shit together, just gotta move on in this world because that's what life is about.